2nd Beta is....

...1592!!!

It almost doubled in 48 hours, but not quite. My DR is not concerned, and he wants me to come in Monday for the last one. I have been doing some research on hcg beta doubling time, and as long as it doubles in at least 76 hours, you should be doing well. I don't think I will be doing anymore "research" on the web anytime soon. It just put me in a sour and negative mood from reading all of the stories of the bad things that can happen with infertility and miscarriage. I understand the purpose of message boards...to educate and meet others going thru this journey. Lately, it just puts a lot of  "what-ifs" into my mind...what if this happens? what does this cramp mean? is this normal? Ok, I'm done.

Moral of the story: I am going to avoid looking up stuff on the internet. I am going to trust God completely. I am going to pray that our baby crocodile(s) continue to grow healthy and strong. I am going to be positive (why am I so emotional today anyways?). God is soo good.

1st Beta...

Since, we aren't telling anyone that we know, I can tell you guys. :) My first beta today was...

851!!!!!!!!!!!!

Omgosh! God is soo good!

Thank you for praying for us!!

Next beta is on Friday.

Still Waiting...

...on my 1st beta test. It's on Wednesday. I just want to know already! I have been POASing, & the line keeps getting darker. God is good! We broke the news to our families and friends that if we are blessed with a healthy pregnancy this time, we aren't telling anyone until the second trimester (which I think would be around Memorial Day). It was sooo difficult to 'untell' everyone that had been told we were pregnant the first time after we had the miscarriage. My mother-in-law, God bless her, told just about everyone she knew, seriously. I explained to her why we aren't telling her, and she said she understood. We have a strained relationship (long story), so I try to avoid seeing her, because I just really don't want stress and conflict in my life. My DH can deal with her. :) If you leave me a message, I will be sure to pray for you in whatever you are facing. :)

Still Positive!

The line is still positive and darker. God is soo good!

POAS.

I broke down and bought some First Response Early Result pregnancy tests...(they were on sale at CVS, lol). Taking those things can really mess with your head during the 2WW until my first beta test (which is March 28th).

I am 4dp5dt. I let my curiosity get the best of me today, so I took one of the tests...it was positive!!! There is a definite, light, solid line showing positive. I still have a picture of the positive line from my cycle in December, and they look just the same. I am really shocked...I wasn't sure if I could get a positive test this early. What a blessing from God!!!

Thank you God for soo much for the hope you have given us, and continue to give us. Prayer works!!!!

Embryo Transfer!

The embryo transfer was today. We transferred two perfect 5 day blasts. Both survived the thaw...God is good! Our DR was thrilled with how great they look. DH got to go back with me to be with me, and watch on the various video screens what was going on. I think it made him appreciate what I'm going thru a little bit more. He mentioned how I must have lost my modesty a looong time considering a bunch of dang people have seen my wawa. True dat. My momma is here...Thank God for Mommas! We sat on my bed and watched The Help movie...great! She also made my favorite...banana pudding!!! So, our first pregnancy test is March 28th. We hope and pray this is the one. God is good!!!

Frozen Embryo Transfer.

Our FET is this Friday. We are transferring (2) 5-day embryos, then followed by bedrest this weekend. I kinda wish that our RE would transfer at least one more, considering the success rates of FETs, but he is a pretty conservative MD. He is a great doctor though. We have been thru soo much with him, and he has always been so understanding, and he never rushes us when we have questions. So if you are in North Carolina, let me know if you would like more information on him.

My dear Momma is coming to take care of me during my bedrest this weekend...Thank God for Mommas!! My DH (dear husband) is going to saltwater fishing school on Saturday (my Christmas present to him), and I didn't want him to cancel it. That reminds me...I want to get Bridesmaids from Redbox and watch it this weekend. Is it really as funny as everyone says?

Heaven is For Real by Todd Burpo.

Following my miscarriage, I was told about the book Heaven is For Real by Todd Burpo. It is the true account of a little boy who went to Heaven while having a difficult medical procedure. This little boy 'meets' his sister in Heaven. It turns out, his mother had a miscarriage that the boy couldn't have possibly known about (he was a baby when it happened, and it was never really talked about). This gives me such hope that one day we will get to meet our baby in Heaven one day.

In my Bible Study, I was asked to think of a difficult situation, and four things for which I can thank God about that situation. I thought of our miscarriage. I am thankful for the strength from God to keep trying, the good relationship and love of my husband, the support of my family and friends, and that there were no complications. It is a great way to put a different perspective on it!

Our miscarriage.

After our first IVF cycle & on my husband's birthday, we were blessed with a positive result!!! It was such a blessing from God. We were ecstatic! We had a ultrasound at around 6.5 weeks. Our baby crocodile had a little beating heart. Soo cool. In December, we went back at 9 weeks for an ultrasound...no heartbeat. There are no words for how devestated we were. We went for D&C a week later.

We are still healing from the miscarriage. It is devestating. Part of the reason I started this blog today is because I was worrying if it was going to happen again with our frozen embryo transfer on Friday. I was in tears earlier. We are trusting in God, & trying to give our worries over to Him. He knows the desires for a baby of our very own, and we believe He has something awesome in store for us. I also worry that God has something else in mind for us, other than having a successful pregnancy of our own...is that awful and selfish?

Our History...

Hello! Thanks for taking the time to read my blog. My name is Mel. I live in North Carolina. I am 33 years old, & happily married for almost 5 years. Last year, after trying to conceive on our own with no results, we made an appointment to see a reproductive endocrinologist in our area. (For the record, we LOVE our doctor). After many tests, and finally, laparscopic surgery (which was not pleasant), I was diagnosed with endometriosis and blocked fallopian tubes. In Vitro Fertilization is our only hope of conceiving. We went thru our first IVF cycle in October 2011. From what we were told, it was 'textbook'. Everything went according to plan, & my body totally cooperated and responded like it should. We transferred 2 5-day embryos on October 24th. Our first pregnancy test was positive. What an awesome blessing from God!!! We went to our first ultrasound at around 6.5 weeks. Our 'baby crocodile' had a little beating heart...it was awesome! At the next ultrasound, no beating heart...miscarriage. This Friday, we are transferring 2 of our 4 frozen embryos. That's where we are.